…because I’m assuming you don’t want me to post my 1,500-character “essays” (does 100 words really count as an essay?) about why I’m particularly well-suited for this or that medical school.

Two rejections so far!  One interview scheduled so far!

Now to the good stuff.  This picture shows a selection from my office’s deli:

(Underline added by me)

First of all, I want to comment on the very strange word choice here.  If in fact they do mean “discrete,” I’m impressed at the detail to craftsmanship.  Curious as to whether they actually would lay the sprouts, lettuce, tomato, etc, one at a time, separately, I ordered this sandwich.  As I watched them make it, I realized, duh, OF COURSE they put the ingredients on one at a time.  This is not only a dumb, ill-fitting word choice, but it’s one of those instances where fancy words dress up something that’s totally status quo.  “We make the best sandwiches, you guys!  Seriously!  Unlike all those other sandwich places, we do not grab handfuls of vegetables and attempt to lay them on your sandwich all at the same time.  We’re professional, not like those jerkoffs at Sandwich Depot.”

More amusing, and what I’m choosing to assume they meant, is if this is a spelling mistake.  In which case, this is now my favorite sandwich place ever.  “Hey guys, tired of your friends calling you a fag because you eat sprouts on your meat sandwich?  We’ll put all that healthy bullshit on for you, but no one has to know.  Unlike those assholes at Sandwich Depot, who fucking televise every goddamn grain of salt they put on your panini.” 

(The owners of this deli have anger management issues.)